No mother is perfect... In jail I have a lot of time to think, and I don't always have control over where my mind wanders. A lot of the time, and despite myself, I think about Clay: how much I loved him, the mistakes I made. So many mistakes! My daughters. My little boy, Joe. But my thoughts aren't always completely clear. I think through gauze, through filters. Being locked away minute after minute, second after second (for that's how slowly time passes) has made me realise that I've spent my whole life in a fog. Some days it's like parting a thick black curtain in front of me, and just when I manage to open it and see a little light, the curtain falls closed again and I'm left in the dark. Most people want to know where this all started, and I sometimes wonder that too. Thea Middleton is behind bars for an unthinkable crime. As she, her husband Clay and eldest daughter Sanusha try to repair their shattered lives, their individual accounts form the pieces of a tragic puzzle that will haunt them forever.
World and translation rights available. Shadow Self has been translated into Afrikaans and is available as Skaduself.
For more information on the author: www.paulamarais.com. See Paula's interviews on News24 (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kIRstj9JkZI) and Morning Live (http://nb.bookslive.co.za/blog/2014/07/15/video-paula-marais-discusses-writing-about-motherhood-gone-wrong-in-shadow-self/). www.facebook.com/PaulaJMarais
"A rare find - a novel that is grounded in thorough research that has tremendous emotional impact on the reader, one that introduces an author with the ability to render a highly complex story in a literary impressive manner." (Kerneels Breytenbach - Author of Piekniek by Hangklip) "Written with compelling power and jagged intensity." (Tony Morphet - author and literary critic)